thee Kindergarten sucks

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Today is my boo's 1st day of Kindergarten. The weather predicted the mood, it was cold and rainy this morning. I woke him up at 7am and he smiled while keeping his eyes closed as I sang him the good morning song. Then he wrapped his arms around my neck and asked for "some more minutes of sleep please mommy." In my head I was saying "yes! yes! yes! sleep as long as you want, stay home and be my baby forever." but the responsible side of me kicked in and cuddled him while telling him he needed to get up to take a bath before school.

I had the bathtub all ready just the way he likes...warm with no bubbles and a few toys. He thanked me for having no bubbles and his bath went by event free. I dried him off and picked out some shorts n a shirt for him to wear with a striped tie. Put on his DC skater shoes and put out a donut and orange juice for him to eat while I made his lunch...

- ham n cheese check
- juice box check, "uh what if he's really thirsty, I'll just put in two in case."
- cookies check
- fruit snacks check
- "uh whats something he will be so happy to have when he opens his lunch box...oh m&m's, he'll love that. but wait there's no fruit, shit he can't have cookies, fruit snacks & m&m's. shit i don't have any fruit left, the teacher's gonna think I'm trying to give him diabetes! I know, I'll take out the cookies and put them in his bookbag, not his lunchbox, then it won't seem so bad if all the sugar isn't in one spot."

He tells me he's full off half a donut while I'm signing forms and packing his bookbag with all the stuff from his school supply list we got yesterday. I draw him a picture of a funny looking monster and put it in his lunchbox to find later. I put his batman bookbag on him and give him his lunchbox and we head to the car.

We pull out of the neighborhood slowly and I try to not make eye contact with all the other parents who are brave enough to put their kids on the bus, cause that's not me yet. We, I mean he isn't ready for all that yet so we continue on our journey. I don't think I ever drove so slow in my life. I milked this car ride as long as I could. I eyed the line of cars that pull up to the curb to let their kids out and proceeded until it was our turn. I looked in the back seat and then over to all the kids on the sidewalk. I wasn't ready yet! I couldn't possibly unbuckle him and help him out of the car here, I need more time! I kept driving by the let off point and pulled into the parking lot.

When I got him out of the car and put his backpack on and handed him his lunchbox he told me I was the best and most beautiful mommy ever. He always knows what to say! How does he do that when he is so little? How come full grown men I know don't ever know what to say but he says the perfect things! He asked to hold my hand and I smiled so big that he still wanted to hold my hand even in front of all these kids. We walked over to the "k" sign for his grade. Oh shit...his teacher wasn't here yet, I can't possibly leave him here with all these other Kindergarteners, they could be thugs! Evil ninjas could come out of the trees and try to take him to be an assassin! There's no way I can leave him now. More kids started coming to stand by the "k" line and I noticed more parents with them too. Maybe I'm not the only one worried about thugs and evil ninja's?

A little girl approached my boo and said hi, he said hi back and told her his name. I eyed up this little girl trying to figure out if she could be as sweet as she looked or if she could be the little minx who is going to teach my boo how to cuss in class when the teacher isn't looking! I noticed her dad was eying up my boo too maybe he's thinking the same thing? We exchanged awkwards glances and a half smile before I turned my attention back to my boo. Oh shit here comes his teacher, does this mean I'm going to have to leave now? fuckkkkkkkkkk. I took a deep breath and asked boo if he remembered which one she was from when we came to visit her. He said yes and I bent down to give him a kiss. I told him I'd be here to pick him up later and would miss him more than infinity. He told me he would miss the most. I walked away and sucked up any tears that were trying to escape. Got in my car and drove to work and decided that Kindergarten sucks.


3 comments:

Jeffrey Sucks said...

Aw I was smiling when I read this you are a great mom and Keegs gettin gals already.. now I want a midget to take to kindergarden

theepoop said...

thank you c: He had a great day and I don't think his first day phased him even a little bit lol.

Vertigo Verb said...

awwwww these post keep getting better! Too many quotables to mention, (sidebar: I loved that you're on the lookout for evil Ninja attacks. I thought that was just me. who knew?!) Suffice it to say that I love the way you write. And I'm patiently waiting for the next one.

<3

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