thee Chuck Norris Facts

1. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
2. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
3. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they’re all poisonous.
4. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken’s famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
5. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
6. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
7. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
9. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
10. Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
11. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

source:kitchen sink